


Mormor Advent Challenge 2020 Day 11: Cranberry

by RueRambunctious



Series: Mormor Advent Challenge 2020 [9]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Murder, Spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29803734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RueRambunctious/pseuds/RueRambunctious
Summary: Sometimes the hits get creative. Sometimes they put Seb off of his dinner.
Relationships: Sebastian Moran/Jim Moriarty
Series: Mormor Advent Challenge 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044660
Kudos: 6





	Mormor Advent Challenge 2020 Day 11: Cranberry

Sebastian watches Jim swirl a red liquid around in an excessively large wine glass, seemingly captivated by the light but likely in actuality scheming something wonderful, terrible, and / or both.

“I hope you’ve had breakfast,” Sebastian says.

“Cranberries are a food group,” Jim sniffs.

Seb steps close enough to take in the drink’s bouquet. Vodka. An unfeasible amount of vodka for such a small human. And Sebastian’s not a fan of Jim inbibing the excess of sugar usually found in cranberry juice drinks either. The last thing Seb needs is a drunk Jim Moriarty with a sugar high and access to a shadow network which can devastate and decimate any part of the world Jim so chooses.

“Do you think maybe we could get some starchy carbs into this mix?” Sebastian says in a voice of long sufferance. “Bread? Chips? Cake? Anything that will soak _that_ up?”

“You’re no fun, Basher,” Jim says dismissively. He swallows from the glass, his throat so unnaturally pale that the trail of dark liquid shows right through. It’s captivating, and Seb has to tear away his gaze, reminding himself for the billionth time that getting distracted around Jim Moriarty is potentially lethal or worse.

“Do you know what’s fun?” Jim muses. “How they farm cranberries.”

Sebastian hasn’t a clue how they farm cranberries or any other berry for that matter. “Dare I ask?”

“They use spiders,” Jim says. He looks up and his darkly glinting eyes meet Seb’s. “And then they drown them.”

“What?” Sebastian asks flatly.

Jim takes another drink. His lips are shiny, wet and red. He looks as vampiric as he can without being covered in blood (which is not a rare sight). Jim licks away the excess wetness then says, “The spiders control the pests, protecting the produce. And then when the cranberries are ready to harvest, the farmers flood the cranberry fields.”

“Lovely,” Seb says uneasily.

“Of course, the spiders do not drown happily. They will clamber to the highest ground,” Jim continues.

Sebastian waits.

Jim drinks deeply from his enormous glass then sets it aside at last, his thirst seemingly slaked for the time being. “Have you ever seen a man covered in wolf spiders?”

Seb blinks. “Nope.”

“It’s something,” Jim says. “Seeing them scurry, wondering whether the man will close his mouth in time, the moment you lose sight of his eyebrows when they bristle with desperate arachnid lives.”

“Tis the season of goodwill to all men evidently,” Sebastian mutters. He lifts the bottle of vodka questioningly, and at Jim’s nod, swallows a neckful.

“I’m full of goodwill,” Jim says darkly. “I could choose to drown his children first.”

“Well good for you for being so full of generosity,” Seb comments, his lips twitching when Jim arches a playful brow at him.

“Make sure he’s still identifiable when he’s found,” Jim says.

Sebastian nods. “You want him left in the water?”

“Oh yes, make them work a bit at identifying the bloated mess,” Jim says cheerfully.

“Got it, boss,” Seb says.

“Cranberries are hollow, you see,” Jim says. “That’s what makes them float. Men though…” He smiles, gestures almost nonchalantly, and reaches for his glass again.

Sebastian’s used to death, often at his own hands, before the army and after. Murder always seemed simple until Jim got involved. Now? Sometimes the hits get weird.

Jim finishes drinking, then lifts his phone. He taps it a few times, then Seb’s own vibrates in his pocket.

“I’ve sent you the location of a cranberry bog. You’ll find someone who has displeased me in the trunk of the car parked in your spot. Feel free to be creative,” Jim says.

“Remind me never to annoy you,” Sebastian mutters.

Jim grins then, open and honestly amused. “Darling, don’t I do that for you every day?”

“In many, many ways,” Seb says with a sigh. He kisses Jim’s temple then fetches his jacket. “Do you want pictures when I’m done?”

Jim pours himself a new glass. “What do you think, Tiger?”

Sebastian thinks that he is not looking forward to Jim’s hangover, or the chaos that will arrive before it if Jim keeps playing with his web. Seb also thinks he won’t want cranberry sauce on his festive dinner ever again. “I think I better get going,” the blond says.

Jim raises his glass in both toast and dismissal.


End file.
